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Saturday, May 24, 2014

Birth Story!


*** 
Please note this is just my own personal experience and everyone experiences birth differently!  Yours may be way shorter and easier than mine was, so if you're nearing your due date, don't worry!  Your birth will probably be a walk in the park :)
*** 


Never listen to anyone who tells you that you will give birth early.  When you start approaching your 39th week and you still have no baby, things start to get a little frustrating!  I was convinced I would be early since everyone and their cousin said I would.  At my 37th week prenatal appointment, my OB started checking me to see if I was dilated and effaced.  

Week 37?  Nothing.  “High and closed” is what they told me.  Okay, it's still early yet... I can handle that.  
Week 38? The same.  Okay baby, this has got to be your week.
Week 39? I started having a lot of signs that made me think it was going to happen at any time (more BH contractions & cramping).  At our prenatal appointment… I’ll give you one guess what my doc said after he checked me. 

No change. 

At that point, I was discouraged and as silly as it sounds, I was starting to feel helpless!  I just wanted to meet our little guy.  The next week things continued to be crampy and I had other changes so I knew something good was happening. We had our 40 week prenatal appointment on Monday, March 10.   When he checked me… I was a whopping 1 cm dilated and 40% effaced!  Wahoo!  I asked him to strip my membranes, if possible, to try to help things along. He let me know that there was about a 50% chance that it would actually do anything and he’d see me back in a week if nothing happened.  I walked out of the room praying that it worked.

It did.

I went to the gym after my appointment and noticed a lot more cramping, but nothing to get too excited about.  I went home and had a lot of energy for some reason (nesting??) so I cleaned our room, finished packing my hospital bag, and made two loaves of banana bread.  Jake’s sister came over and we all took Diego on a walk to the park.  I ran up and down the sledding hill with Diego, trying to get this baby moving.  When we got back to the house, I started to notice a little more cramping, but nothing organized.  My mom made a delicious dinner and during dinner I started to notice increasingly strong contractions. 

I decided to start timing them, just for kicks, and realized they were 7 minutes apart!   We watched a movie and I tried not to get my hopes up but they consistently were coming anywhere from 6-9 minutes apart.  Jake and I went to bed, but there was no way I could sleep.  The contractions were getting stronger and more regular, so I did my best to rest and continued timing them.  After a long, sleepless night, I got up and told my parents that I thought “today is the day” and that I was having real contractions.  At this point, they were around 4-7 mins apart and were tolerable- although it definitely took some breathing techniques. Diego was my constant companion and never left my side throughout the process.



By noon, things were definitely stronger and thing were picking up time wise.  They were 4-5 minutes apart and lasting at least 1 minute each.  By 2:30 they were 3 minutes apart and I was in a lot of pain, so we decided it was time to go to the hospital.  After getting checked in and hooked up to a monitor, they checked me to see what changes had been made.  I was totally expecting a “3 or 4 cm” but instead, the nurse said, “well, you’re 1.5 cm dilated.”  I almost cried right then and there.  Over 16 hours of contractions and no change.  They had me walk around the hospital for an hour, then asked me to come back to reassess.  That hour just about killed me.  3 steps, contraction. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.  3 more steps, contraction. Breathe, Breathe. Breathe.  

We went back to be checked and I’ll give you one guess as to what they said. 

Yep.  No change.

Well, I take that back.  I was then 80% effaced which is a great sign.  The nurse wanted to monitor my contractions and baby’s heartrate for a while longer before sending me home, so I got on the trusty birthing ball and attempted to work through contractions.


They were lasting approximately 2 minutes each and coming every 4 minutes.  The nurse checked me again after an hour, and said I was still 1.5cm but I was almost completely effaced and the baby’s head was “right there” so they decided I would be admitted.  This was music to my ears!


We walked from triage to L&D where I met my amazing labor nurse, Marie.  She literally was my saving grace and I am so grateful she was there for me!  We got settled in and they allowed me to get in the shower.  As much as I loved this, I also wanted to die.  The contractions were starting to stack on one another and I felt like I was constantly in searing pain.   Some one told me contractions feel like menstrual cramps.  HA.  Maybe menstrual cramps on steroids with a side of gut-wrenching agony.


As I progressed, the best way to describe it is someone has a hold of your insides and they’re tearing them out of you while attempting to cut your low back in half with an ax.  No breathing method could help lessen the pain.  No trip to my happy place could take me away.  No visualization, aromatherapy, or music could relieve the pain.  I tried it all.  I honestly don’t know how I did it besides just making it through each contraction, one at a time.  That became my mantra.  Just one more, just one more.  I was rechecked each hour and at midnight, my contractions were 3 mins apart, still lasting 2 minutes and they said I had progressed to 2cm.


With every contraction that came, I wanted to get an epidural, some pain meds, anything, but Jake helped me keep my focus and honestly, the contractions were coming so quickly and lasting so long, I didn’t really have time to consider it.  By 1am, I had been in labor for over 30 hours, hadn’t eaten in probably the same, and hadn’t slept in about 40 hours.  I was so drained and felt hopeless. At 1 am when I was only 3cm, I asked what I could take that was the most harmless but would just take the edge off.  They gave me a half dose of Stadol which did nothing more than make me dizzy and sleepy in between awful contractions.  But it was exactly what I needed.  The small 30 seconds of rest in between contractions allowed me to relax and my body finally started to dilate.  Quickly.  They checked me an hour later at 2 am and I was at 7 cm.


The last two hours were the hardest I have ever experienced. It literally took every ounce of my soul and all my depleted strength to get through each contraction. I was about to ask for another dose of stadol but the nurse said based on my contractions she thought this baby would be here soon!


The pain was like a train coming in the night... Complete silence until slowly the sound comes and begins to shatter the ground beneath it until passes by and leaves the world silent once again. I could feel each contraction building until my whole world was torn apart. I honestly can't remember much about each horrendous contraction except that Jake and the hospital bed handle bars were my saving grace. I was lying on my left side in the fetal position and would grab Jake's hand with my right hand and the handle bar with the other and give them tightest death grip possible. I remember sliding my legs up and down the bed as I waited for each second to pass.  It felt like I was in a hopeless, dark place for the 2 minutes they lasted and it took every breath I had to make it through. Jake said it broke his heart to hear me whimpering in pain, but I don't even remember making a sound.  The nurse checked me not even a half hour later and said I was 9, almost 9 1/2 cm and that it was time to get the doctor in there!   


When they say you will have the urge to push… it is an uncontrollable, all consuming need.  It took every last bit of my strength to not push.  I can still hear the nurse saying, “Brittany, breathe like this… quick hoo hoo hoo hoo.”  Ha.  Impossible. 


I remember seeing my doctor walk in and almost cried tears of joy because I knew the end was in sight and I was allowed to push!  My Mom, Dad, sister-in-law, and our photographer friend, Aliki, showed up just in time, although I honestly don’t remember seeing them.  They had the mirror for me to watch each push, but it distracted me too much so I kept my eyes closed to focus.  My contractions were so long I was usually able to get out 3-4 long pushes per contraction.  Then I had about 30 seconds to re-group before the next one came.  The pain of pushing wasn’t as bad as the laboring process for me.  Pushing was the most gratifying part of the whole process because it meant it would all be over soon!  I remember being so focused and quiet, just trying to breathe and use my strength to get him out! When the final pushes happened 30 minutes later, our beautiful boy was placed immediately on my chest and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.



 He was finally here!


I was so overwhelmed with immediate love.  A part of my soul was born that day. 








It's amazing how quickly the pain fades from your memory.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat for this precious soul. 


 He is our whole world. 




*** Photo credit goes to our amazing friend Aliki  


Friday, May 23, 2014

Introducing Gavin William

How has it been over two months since I wrote on the blog?  It could have something to do with the fact that this little man took over my world.



I'd like to introduce you to Gavin William.  He was born on March 12, 2014 at 4:17am weighing 8 lbs, 3 oz and 22 inches long.  My labor was a longgggg 34 hours but I'm happy to say I was able to deliver naturally without any medications or complications (birth story to come in another post)!


Gavin entered our world and cliche as it may be, we truly cannot imagine life without him.  Well I guess I take that back... I can definitely imagine sleeping more than 5 hours each night, not having spit up stains on every shirt, having more than 5 minutes alone and taking less than 15 minutes to get out of the house... but I would never trade any of that for this little guy. 


It's true when they say that the first month of parenthood is a complete blur.  Days fade into nights and every minute of every day is wrapped up in taking care of your little one.  Every moment that passes you learn about your baby's personality, preferences, and you are mesmerized by their adorable face, and teeny tiny toes and fingers.




Jake and I would just sit and stare at his face for hours on end.  Being a parent is truly the most magical gift in the world!  




With that being said, Gavin was definitely a crier for the first 8 weeks.  I've been a nanny, babysitter, worked in a daycare, and spent countless hours caring for newborns.  But somehow I managed to forget the fact that babies cry.  A lot.   The average newborn spends over 3 hours/day crying.  And that's if you don't have a colicky baby.  Then it goes up to 6+ hours of crying.  I can't even begin to tell you how many hours I spent bouncing on the exercise ball and doing squats (his two favorite movements) to calm him down.  There were nights we both cried because I didn't know how to soothe his tears.  If hearing your baby's cries doesn't break your heart, I don't know what does.  There is definitely a hormonal shift that moms experience when hearing their infant cry because it would literally tear out a piece of my soul!



Gavin hit the height of his screaming/crying around 7.5 weeks and I was willing to try anything to make things better.  I don't consider myself a huge "natural/alternative medicine" person... not because I don't agree with it but mainly because I don't have a lot of experience with it.  However, one of my friends sells DoTerra essential oils and I decided to give it a try.  AMAZING.  We combined Serenity and Citrus Bliss into a carrier oil and massaged it on Gavin's back and soles of his feet and I kid you not, it was instant relief.  He changed from a grumpy, sad baby into a happy, more laid back baby practically overnight.  I also began wearing Gavin in a sling for a lot of the day and I think that was a huge contributing factor as well.  He still has his moments, but he's a baby and that's to be expected!




He is just changing every day and it has been so much fun to see!  He's cooing like crazy, grabbing at objects, smiling at everyone (and loves his reflection in the mirror!), holding up his head, and has rolled over twice.  Last night he sat and looked at his books as I read to him for almost 30 minutes straight!  I just love watching him grow :)

Discovered he has hands!
Big changes in just one month!
As for me, obviously this Mommy thing is going great.




I had a bit of a rough recovery including infection and later to find out retained placenta (sorry if TMI), but luckily once that was taken care of at 6 weeks postpartum (pp), I felt amazing!  I started working out lightly (walks and elliptical) around 2 weeks pp and started running again at 8 weeks pp. Life is good again.  I am starting out slow with running so I don't injure myself, but I hope to get back up to speed in no time!





Well, that's the quick version of how my life has changed!  I have so much more to tell you about Jake & Daddyhood, Diego being a big brother, and my plans for work... but sleep is calling my name. I plan to update more frequently and share tons and tons of pictures because I've become a bit obsessed with taking pictures of Gavin :) 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

39 Weeks Pregnant (11 weeks later...)

This is a bit late... but somehow I forgot to post this 11 weeks ago! Things got a little bit busy!  
 Baby Bump

How far along? 39 Weeks, 6 Days
 
Size of the baby: A Watermelon!


Maternity clothes? Yes.  But I also fit into a couple pre-preggo skinny jeans! Weird!  But to be honest, this week's outfits consisted mostly of yoga pants and sweatshirts.  The "not-working" wardrobe is amazing.
Stretch marks? Nope!  Yippppppeeee! 
Sleep: I actually slept amazingly well two nights this week!  The other nights were not so good.  Maybe 2 hours a night.  Ugh.
Symptoms: Backache, heartburn, exhaustion, mood swings, headache, ridiculously stuffy nose, oh the list goes on... this week was not very comfortable.  I also had false labor on Ash Wednesday... such a tease!
Best moment this week: My Momma arriving!
Miss Anything? Sleeping, 
Food cravings: Lucky Charms cereal, jujufruits candy, bananas, anything sweet!
Any aversions? My stomach was in shut down mode this week... maybe that's a good sign? I was very nauseous and could only eat small amounts without feeling sick.
Have you started to show yet: This belly is no joke.  
Baby Names? Down to our top 3!
Belly Button in or out? It's outta this world.
Linea Nigra? Yes!  Seemed darker this week too!
Wedding rings on or off? On!  I'm so happy I haven't had any problems with this!  
Happy or Moody most of the time: This week I may have had a few outbursts... my frustration is at an all time high, mainly because a) I am sick of texts/calls saying "any baby yet?" and b) I hate spending my maternity leave without a baby in my arms!  Oh well.  He's coming at some point!
Movement: All day every day!
Looking forward to: I'll give you ONE guess!
New mom tips I received this week (which I love getting!):  When you go in to labor, wait to go to the hospital as long as possible. 
Favorite part of being pregnant so far: My favorite part will forever be feeling little Bambino move around inside me :)  
Any Braxton Hicks contractions?  TONS.  And definitely more painful this week. 
Feet Swelling? Nope!
Have you started to "waddle"? Mmmm Hmmm
Any weird dreams? Not too many- but like I said, I haven't been sleeping much!
Over being pregnant? Yes. It's time to be a Mommy now.  
Nesting? Definitely, and especially in the last few days.  Hopefully this  is a good thing!
Car Seat Installed? Yes!
Hospital Bag Packed? Done today!
Dilated/Effaced? (And sorry if this is TMI): 1.5cm / 40% effaced!  Woo... change is happening!
Still Running? No running... but it's awesome to think in a couple months I'll be back on the streets! Was still able to workout every day this week - elliptical for an hour each day and weights twice!  I feel more out of breath when I workout, but I feel so empowered and strong when I'm at the gym! To be honest, my main motive is to bounce baby out.

Letter to Baby

My dearest baby boy,

Well, I'm still pregnant with you.  Is it that cozy in my belly?  It sure looks like it's getting cramped in there!  I promise it's way more comfortable on the outside!  This week you hogged all of my energy to put on more weight.  Your little brain and lungs are ready for action, so now you're just packing on cute little padding everywhere.  I wonder how much you will weigh?  I don't feel too incredibly gigantic, but who's to say! My doctor said last week that you'll be around 7 pounds which sounds great!  However, if you decide to be super late and stay inside another 2 weeks... things could get tricky!

Tomorrow marks 40 weeks pregnant with you! I've been feeling lots of changes this week so I'm hoping things will get moving soon!  I always wonder if birth will be traumatic for you... I can't imagine it's fun getting squeezed by contractions and entering a world where you have to eat on your own, stay warm, and be protected!  I wouldn't want to leave the womb either if everything was taken care of for me! 

Your Dad is getting really excited to buy you your first snowmachine, gun, and four-wheeler.  Yes, he has big plans for you.  I'm already starting to feel out-numbered with all the boys in our house!  Luckily, you're going to be stuck with a mom that is going to teach you lots of important things too... like how to run, swim, cook, play sports, and take pictures, and travel the world.  

I'm really hoping this will be my last letter to you from the inside... we are dying to meet you Bambino!  Love you more than you'll ever know!

Always & Forever,

Mom & Dad