Grateful.

What should have been a normal trip to Costco this afternoon (filled with delicious samples and buying things I don't need...) quickly turned to a very memorable one, and I wish I could say it was a good memory.  I started my usual peruse through the fruits and Jake went to look at the engine oil. Typical ;)  I saw him start to walk back toward me but he got a very concerned and distracted look on his face.  I walked to the edge of the aisle to see what he was looking at and there was an elderly man that had collapsed on the ground. Multiple people were gathered to try to help and Jake, a paramedic, stepped in to see what he could do.  Another lady, a nurse, started doing chest compressions as 9-1-1 was called.  Another man showed up who said he was an ER doctor so Jake stepped away and told me we should give them some space since they had it handled.

We walked into the Fridge as I started tearing up.  I am not meant for emergency medicine.  All I could think was, "that's someone's father, husband, and friend."  It's someone who means everything to another person.  Jake forged ahead, not even affected in the slightest.  We continued shopping and passed near the scene a few more times.  The paramedics showed up and were working quickly to save the mans' life.  A huge crowd had gathered.  Why is it in our human nature to want to stand and watch such a critical situation?  Human curiosity is a powerful thing. On our way out, we saw the ambulance leaving with it's lights on which Jake told me is a good thing because it means he is still alive.

In the car, I asked Jake how he could just walk forward and move on after witnessing a man who likely had a massive stroke and may/may not live.  He said that it is just what he has to do.  If he spent time thinking about each patient he takes to the hospital on calls like that one, he would never survive such a taxing job.  It was then that I truly realized how brave and amazing my husband is.  I mean, I've always known that but today it was made even more clear.  It is his job to enter calmly into emotional situations, try to save lives, and walk away emotionally strong to be able to help the next person.  I cannot respect him more for doing that day in and day out!

I am probably the exact opposite in handling patients...  I come home thinking about my them; contemplating their diagnoses and what I can do to help.  Not the best way to handle things, but it is who I am & why I think I am a good primary care provider.  I was told as a child that I was too sensitive but I have learned to embrace that quality and let it help me as a PA.  I now know with 100% certainty that I could not be a emergency medicine PA, but I am SO thankful for people like the ones I saw today... the doctors, nurses, and paramedics... who daily enter into a challenging situation and handle it with grace and precision.  I am most grateful for my husband, who after today I admire even more than I thought possible.  (I know you're reading this Jake and hating that I'm writing about you, but YOU. ARE. AMAZING.)

On to lighter and happier things...

In case a broken toe & intermittent injuries weren't enough to test my marathon training... How's this weather forecast for race day?!

89 degrees? I think I might melt!  Oh well, I'm looking forward to the trip nonetheless :)

Gavin has been the happiest baby on the block the last few days!  After his horrible week of ear infections and teething... he must feel pretty good about life!  His favorite thing to do these days is sing the ABC song and play in his Thomas the Train tent.  I highly recommend shelling out the big bucks and spending $2 on such a tent at a Garage sale.  Best purchase ever.

I choo choo choo choose you!