A Sad Runner's Tale.

I don't know if you've caught on, but I'm an injured runner.  Yes, I know.  It happens.  And yes, I know, I'll get better and be back in action in no time.  I've avoided talking too much about it because this blog isn't supposed to be a "woe is me, I'm obsessed with running and can't run" blog.  But, running brings me so much happiness and is such a huge part of my life that I think I'm finally ready to open up and talk about it.  In a nutshell, it has been a frustrating few months.  Just when I think I'm back on track and free of left knee pain, I develop a new pain (right hip flexor, and newest pain... left hamstring).  I immediately stop running when I feel pain and cross train for as long as it takes to feel pain free- which is usually around 5-7 days.  Then I do the 2 day rule: no running until 2 days of being completely pain-free until I start my usual walk/run combo. I usually feel good for 2-3 days and then... without increasing mileage, terrain, or gear... I develop a new pain.  I am literally at my wit's end.

Running in the Boston Marathon has been my dream since I realized I actually had a little bit of running talent.  Demolishing the boston qualifying time by 28 minutes at St. George was a dream come true.  Registering and getting my confirmation letter that I would be running the 2013 Boston Marathon was one of the happiest moments of my running career so far.  The hours of training, sacrifice, pain, exhaustion and true passion all led to achieving my goal: I would be running the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013.  

Take all that joy and multiple it by 2,359 and you will have the amount of devastation that I feel at this moment.  I can't run, let alone train for the Boston Marathon.  I know what you're thinking: "It's just a race, Brittany.  There will be more Boston Marathons."  And yes, I know.  There are.  Every April.  But this Boston Marathon signified a lot more than just a race.  It was a reward for accomplishing such a beautiful thing during two of the most difficult and miserable years of my life (a little thing called PA school).  Call me dramatic, that's fine.  But really, it meant more to me than you can imagine.  

I need my pacifier back.

Why is running so important to me?  Why does it make my world go round? The runner's high - sure, I'm addicted to it. I love it. But it's so much more than that.

I like to think I am a confident person in general, but I'm not afraid to admit to you that I can be very hard on myself and at times Mr. Negative sneaks onto my shoulder.  That is where running comes in.  It gives me a sense of accomplishment that I cannot find in other aspects of my life.  I pour my heart and soul onto the pavement - each mile I go makes me feel like I am conquering every frustration that exists in my world.  My body proves it is capable of anything and I come home with a feeling of pride and success.  I don't just love it, I feel it is part of who I am.  I know you other runners will understand. 

So where do I go from here? I'm not throwing in the towel yet- after all, Jake and I have tickets (as do my parents to come watch) - but I'm just being realistic.  I literally cannot get rid of whatever leg(s) issues I have.  Rest doesn't seem to cure it, cross-training, stretching, Yoga, NSAIDS, PT, Massage, Icing, Heat, you name it- I've tried it.  I'm beyond devastated now that the reality is closing in that I will probably have to skip the Boston Marathon this year.  There are true tragedies in this world that deserve far more attention and prayer than anything you've just read.  But if you have any advice, I will gladly take it!  

In my tearful stupor after thinking about my stupid running injury ... I found this awesome list written by a guy named Dalai Lama.  You may have heard of him.

#4 & #18 rock my world.

Let's hope #20 is: Miracles do happen.